Sarcastic required skills for LUCRATIVE quant research sponsorship

(Last Updated On: April 13, 2016)
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Sarcastic required skills for LUCRATIVE quant research sponsorship

Another highly intelligent Facebook conversation for requirements to sponsor students for quant research jobs.


i wish i wsa


speak up sonny i cn’t hear ya

why cn’t u hear

huh are you trying insult me with that nasty word>

noo noo

shesh i hope not



what do ur work

i am highly paid prostitute for HFT programmers

i know so many secrets

my job is to pleasure them

how secrets



so many


i comfort lonrly hft quant researchers

did you know 1+1 is not actually 2?

they proved it to me

with that much power, you could rule the rule underworld known as market making

no understanding what saying abouy


would you like me to show you to swim in dark pools

if you don’t understand, yo need to go back to school

how old r u

ask your professor


i was born yesterday and the day before

i have a face like the back of a bus

this is why i appeal to HFT researchers

don’t tell anyone ok?

are you here for you plessure?

i wanna see you


are you hot?


send ur pic


woot woot

i am at cat

sexy wexy huh ?

what’s this

how can i help you?


i wanna come there in ur country

can help

and do what

yes i can help

many lonely quant researcher can sponsor you?

where r u from

i am from canaduh

many lonely quant researcher can sponsor you?

yes can sponser


do you know how to cook?

and clean?

they have big houses since they can afford it

are you ok with that?

no cook

i;m student

so why would a quant researcher sponsor if you don’t know these skills?

i can other work

what are they teaching you over there? this is a requirement for sponsorship


can drive

what are you qualified to do ?

yo ucan dive….

never had the skill

im graduate student

this is tough

i can work

you are up against a lot

many can cook and clean for highly paid quant researcher

what want to me

i don’t know what to say

your best best is to learn these highly important skills

pus they are very very lonely

that would get you to the front of the line


you sponcer me



i will need to talk to my slave master

he will decide overnight ok?




how old are you

last time i checked, i was old enough to know how to type

never ask a gentlemen these questions as you are insulting them

slave masters make the rules

ok sorry

no worries,

many things to learn for you

not just use a calculator and then call yourself a quant researcher

it insults the slave master


but we discussed much so go and learn


i will ask my slave master for sponsorship

he should have an answer overnight


i have skils microsoft office accountant data entry

wow you must the only person with these hard to achieve skills

no one has these here so you may be useful after all

i will let the slave master deide overnight ok ?


i’ll be wait

ok check back then ok

slave master will decide

why can’t u decide

you’re owner

he needs time to think as he is highly business with quant research

that is how it works
ok than

you talk

more insults?

ho hum

ooo no insult

haha gotcha

i will check back with the powers to be

check back in 24 hours ok?


bye bye then


Chat Conversation End



NOTE I now post my TRADING ALERTS into my personal FACEBOOK ACCOUNT and TWITTER. Don't worry as I don't post stupid cat videos or what I eat!
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About caustic

Hi i there My name is Bryan Downing. I am part of a company called QuantLabs.Net This is specifically a company with a high profile blog about technology, trading, financial, investment, quant, etc. It posts things on how to do job interviews with large companies like Morgan Stanley, Bloomberg, Citibank, and IBM. It also posts different unique tips and tricks on Java, C++, or C programming. It posts about different techniques in learning about Matlab and building models or strategies. There is a lot here if you are into venturing into the financial world like quant or technical analysis. It also discusses the future generation of trading and programming Specialties: C++, Java, C#, Matlab, quant, models, strategies, technical analysis, linux, windows P.S. I have been known to be the worst typist. Do not be offended by it as I like to bang stuff out and put priorty of what I do over typing. Maybe one day I can get a full time copy editor to help out. Do note I prefer videos as they are much easier to produce so check out my many video at